Stay Away From the "Gay" Table

Carolina Testing and Orientation Program Sessions (CTOPS) orientation fair is a lot like other schools. However this time my perspective was different than any orientation before. Most orientations I have been very aware and in tune with the office representing or the students being "targeted." Today, standing at the LGBTQ Center table helped me see how students (and parents) look at the table. Although the table is full of valuable information, there is some sort of hesitation about approaching the table. Some students who identify as Allys have a hard time coming to terms with it being ok to not be in the (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Inter sex and Queer (LGBTIQ) community and still a supporter without one's own sexuality being questioned.

I noticed that students and parents alike create an invisible aisle amongst the rows of organizations tables. In this aisle is a safe enough distance to "browse" the information without the volunteers and staff members invading one's personal space. In this aisle a student can skim the information without seeming to interested. Never before had I taken notice to this aisle until I was standing at the LGBTQ table.

**Homophobia is defined as the fear and/or aversion to lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans gender and queer people. Homophobia happens on a variety of levels from more subtle to overt occurrences, interpersonal to institutional levels and intentional to unintentional instances

I have always considered myself to be very diverse but serving as a representative for the Center challenged me to put aside the funny looks that you know parents are giving or the judging glares as students approach. How as a future student affairs professional do I own up to practicing what I preach and be comfortable in any environment. As professionals it is necessary to create an inclusive environment that is conducive to to total development of a student. Especially if it includes exploration into their identity.** Homophobia hurts everyone. You do not have to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans gender, or know someone who is to be negatively affected by homophobia. Though some homophobia actively oppresses LGBTIQ people, it hurts those identified as heterosexual.

In a conversation recently with a dear friend, I was exclaiming how much I have been learning on the job and a response was, "I don't/wouldn't want to be associated withthat office." Initially I was shocked by the response and then had to examine the context of the society we live in. If you work, support or hang out with members of the LGBTQ community you might get a "guilty by association" label. Attitudes like this is what is preventing the evloution of equality in our communities.

I digress but to bring back up a good point. Back to the org fair at orientation. Stigmas and assumptions that lead to homophobia may inhibit people from forming close and intimate relationships with members of their own sex, for fear of being perceived as LGBTIQ.

It is my challenge to my colleagues and peers to consider being an Ally whether on a collegiate level or in the workplace. As an Ally you aren't identifying yourself as a member of the LGBTIQ community but stating that you are committed to increasing awareness and acceptance of the diverse LGBTIQ community and committing to educating yourself and others about oppression and commiting to personal growth even when it involves discomfort (like standing at the "gay" table)

Empowered Ally relationships including the persons in non-oppressed roles initate the change towards personal, institutional and societal justice and equality.

**Adapted by UNC Chapel Hill Safe Zone